The week that started 2nd September

LiLi smelling a yellow flower, calm and peaceful

I flew to Málaga on Monday; I fly back this Monday too, a week later.

Views that greeted me shortly after arrival…:

Watched ‘Styling Hollywood’ with friends, researched crocodilians for my novel and ate beans on toast. Living the life.

I read out an extract from my novel, which was exhilarating, and I’m so glad I did.

I put my feet in the sea, I think for the first time. Dreamy.

Alboran Sea

Standing in saltwater -
Scrunching sand between toes -
Sloughing skin like a snake -
Shedding smooth, shedding slow -

Emerging -
Smooth -

Stone into sand,
Sand into glass,
It's a witchcraft.

I've become magpie as you sit and you seek.
We dart greedy fingers into the sand;
Emerge with stones, shells, stories, secrets.

Patiently sitting, standing.
Ebbing, flowing, flujo y reflujo.
Growing -
By your side -
Calm.

Staring out into the fearful vast expanse -
Oblivion.

My daily concerns get lost at sea
And we speak of bigger things.
Pressing concerns carried by waves -
Now near, now far, then away...

Messages come to me in dreams.
You ask,
What will you do now you've had this epiphany?

Speaking to myself, from one side of my brain and back -
Together with friends, alone with myself -
Connection -
Companion -
Communion -
Days at sea -

Finally,
Rumination breaks -
Carrying questions, there -
Spaciousness, here -

Fizzing ferocious -
Gentling -
Calm -
Bubbles break tenderly as they come towards me -
Rush nearly knocks me -
I rush to adjust.
Steadying

It is now.
I am here.
Here -
Now -
All that exists.

When I hear the waves crash -
When I feel the sea flow -
Then I know I'm alive -
When I stay -
When I go -

Stretched out before me -
Whole sea of opportunity -
And I feel it beneath my feet -
Rooted -
Firm -

We create foundations of friends, seers, coaches.

Heat doesn't prickle me now,
Just brushes, caresses my skin.
Cool, clear water flows over my feet,
Kissing me over and over.
No small sharp stones will clutch my crevices
If I stay out of reach.

Your gentle voice -
These gentle waves -
Clouds welcome, warm -
Water cool, clear -
Now -
Here -

Create patience,
Give connection
To myself, to myself

Another side of Málaga

The first night,
fifteen of the little blood suckers come for me.
F*cking vampires.

Dusk till dawn is their time, and
when I awake early, scratching my skin, I wait
impatient, in bed, for the sun to herald a safer time.

We arm ourselves for battle
with witchy spells, incantations and concoctions:
Citronella flame, mists of confusion,
smouldering smoke coiling and roiling,
whirls of wind, confined space, fine mesh screens and
fragrant, impotent sprays ...

Give us a problem and we'll give you an antidote.
Scourge of skeeters...
begone!

Healthy habits

I had three nights of staying up well past my bedtime, followed by my body basically starting to shut down and drag me to bed other nights. So, I obliged and enjoyed some quiet alone time with watching Colombo and writing weeknotes.

I’m pleased that I got enough alone time. I love hanging out with my friends so much *and* I need time on my own to be well. It was hard not to go with the crowd for fun times sometimes – fear of missing out is definitely a thing – and I went with my gut a few times. And sometimes the universe reminded me of the importance of going with my gut.

Had some great conversations about what we want for our futures and what we’ll do to bring those closer.

In closing…

Not only did I meet a croc, of a kind, at a flea market, but I learned that one of my friends loves saltwater crocodiles. Ah-mazing.

I came with excitement and trepidation,
I found the sea, the whole sea, immense sea,
Hugs-a-plenty, mosquitoes and so much beauty,
I leave with stronger connections and sleep deprivation.
statue of a crocodilian
LiLi smiling, pendulous delicate pink and light green flowers hang in the background
Angel’s Trumpets flowers out in the wild, beautiful & deadly